human of the year.

hiding from you was the most ridiculous thought of my day

loving someone forever came second

humanity is nothing but feeling

the rest is loss or peace

serenity

a bore

a beautiful goddamn bore and i wish it was me

closing my eyes and picturing me singing my soul raw

until it hurt to hear me

to be me.

and i write for me

not to inspire

to understand

to think about what understand really means

because i've done a hell of a lot of thinking

and it gets you nowhere

no conclusions

and pain never gets old

you simply learn to live with it

lifting my chin

like lifting my eyes to the sky that i love

and the girl you confuse me with

dream girl

not me

cynical

harsh

and forgettable me

defining myself in struggle

not in peace

when i don't think

the world is healthier that way

with or without a bandage

a damn bandage over my stupid flawed eyes

on my stupid scarred face

on my stupid lost brain

i am anger tied together with a string

a string pulling me around

as i watch the trees go past

and the occasional wanderer who meets my doubting hurting eyes

and i wonder if they know.

the part that still thinks i can be something says yes

... cynical harsh forgettable me says close those goddamn eyes

laughing with.

who?