Friday, April 29, 2011


stretched out so thin,
you can see the veins, blue
and the bones, white
the stress seeping through pores
as i laugh hormones into sweet submission
ein deutches requiem
salalala carry me to the countryside where
and cleanses the sleep out of eyes

honest to god
i will shut my amygdala off
because i dreamt of you last night, and i
hate it
i also hate that i take these
symbols personally:
8, 0, and %
weighted grades please,
compare it to my heavy heart
and acknowledge the fact that i am not smart enough for college
nor musically talented enough to sightread the dominant seventh scale
nor responsible enough to make it to class on time
nor beautiful enough to win attention
and finally, not immortal enough to be able to be just okay with all of the above


stretched out so thin,
you can see the veins, blue
and the bones, white
the stress seeping through pores
as i laugh hormones into sweet submission

sorry. i meant bitter

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

tip-toe life.

the tip-toe life... its a strange one. i listen to hair being crisped into curls as my one reason to curl them turns the other way. which doesn't mean a lot, i suppose. planning my future inside of little boxes, eraser in hand, because who knows? maybe i won't be good enough. no one can make me choose anything, and no one is concerned enough to truly influence my decision. so plodding on, i will push the glass door open as i am ever conscious of my fallen face, fully aware of the fact that i was born into this tip-toe life alone. "don't force it," but you don't know my voice. you don't know the reasons for my downturned eyes and callous care. after all, only in the muddled hours of the morning did i tell a story of drowning and innocence's death.

why must fate hang me out to dry like winter's laundry? my skin is beginning to sag and fade from the pressure of the skies and the ever-telling tornado.

the conductor, he sounds like tevya

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

the problem of evil.

i thought i had heard birds chirping through the lightning streaks of purple sky
but it was the furnace creaking as time and rust wore away at its pipes and gears

Sunday, April 17, 2011

snow white.

frankly, i'd rather not
but yes please
i hold your eyes with a dusty key in the shape of a dented heart

i've asked what i need
and you're the opposite of burns and forgotten fingers
yet still everything i should not

tainted mind in a church?
hell, here i come
but before i go,

at least i'll know that i have made my mark
red, mellow, raw, and lingering
my little eyes cannot hold much,

but your ever-fleeting attention
at least for a second
silent, drawing

when i wake up in the morning,
i pray that my heart will remain in my chest
and my lungs in a place where nothing stops their heaving

never have i wished upon a shooting star
mostly because i miss them
but because i don't believe in asking

so fate, my fickle, foolhardy friend
let you cruel trick end quickly
so i may rest back into the blue

and let this verse end softly
so as not to awake my silent reason
resting, waiting, watching

Friday, April 1, 2011

if i could.

if i could solve the world's problems
if i could hush away harsh language from my brother's ears
if i could chase away stupid boys from my sister's presence
if i could spin hurricanes away from my parents' island paradise
if i could
if i could solve everything for you
if i could solve everything for me
if i could make you see the not-s0-distant future
if i could show you today isn't everything
if i could show you that you have so much to live for, breathe in, and inspire
if i could show how the world is waiting on the opposite side of your window frame

if i could pretend that all of your problems didn't make me want to solve every single one of them

if i could
if i could make you love me
if i could fix your brain
if i could fix myself

if i could be worth your time
if i could be enough

somehow, i never am for everybody that i touch