Friday, September 30, 2011

bass head.

there would be colors as many as we have water
your face close by larger than life as our heads would pound pound pound
out of this world
everything we've been warned about an experience to never tell our children but dictates reality and color and plain and simple and noise
bass head
so we can forget everything that sets us back and a world that is my own and it occupies my every thought and action and lack of action and breath and flicker of my eyes
look at me one more time
let go let go let go
i am alone but i want you close close closer
bass head
i need a la la la la la
i need a oo la la la love
bass head
trace in my highlighter ink
and i glow
tripping over wires that weren't there before
la la la la love

Sunday, September 18, 2011

broken in half.

pencil, trace my outline
because for once, thats all there is
nothing pulling at me
except for the inner chords that make up the one person i always have been
but too afraid to let her be
no one will know,
for no one can see
no one but me
for i live with the shame of all my lies and all my faults and all my wishes and all my endeavors and all my pride [fallen] until they


every last one
so here i am left with nothing to draw but
whoever she is
not who she wants to be
for i am done putting my faith in things that crash and fall
my inner chords are sour, imbalanced, somehow off
now i will listen closely to my soul and not the whispers of others,
my own voice included
for she lies
but me
i am not complicated
i am simple
simply downtrodden and forgetful of my own experience

open, two halves
write on me, savior

Friday, September 9, 2011

4' 33".

apparently i was not worth cooking for. a craving, a hunger for being good enough. all of them letting me go. dicks. searching for a girl skinnier, pelvis first. i want release, for my ti to become a do, a tendency leading me forward. contrarily, i lie stuck in one position so my shirt won't slip off my shoulder. and slowly, i see the world i knew dying around me, inside me. it is the same. to your rue {making sore your tender pride}, i will drop you for another more humble. eyes across the room, all i know is i am moving down into something more deep than the color of your eyes and the length of your hair and the ranks of your ego. down into something more. change inside me, change around me.

music is both sound and silence.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

to do what?

when i left home this morning it was summer, and upon my return there was fall.

don't call her sweetheart, thats me.

have you ever felt tired and anxious at the same time? its more draining than exercise.

too many people, too little time. not enough time for cleaning and sitting and being.

to do. to do what?