Saturday, April 28, 2012
you are nowhere
nowhere to be seen or heard
all chairs make me writhe
both sound and silence cause my fingers to crawl
and dont you dare tell me, or even suggest what i should do
or i will cut you out, just like the others
segmenting my life is no longer a problem
my woven secrets become my blanket at night
they hold me when no one else will
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
so carefully we braided them with beads around our wrists,
laughing at the marks they left on our skin.
in a few showers, they began to thread away.
if they were drinking glasses, they would be chipped--useless.
in fear of seeing my pale wrist exposed,
and the scars underneath unearthed,
i tried to keep these tokens of times better forgotten together.
but really, i should let them fall,
sliding off my wrist like unwanted clothes [so often in the dark].
gravity pulls them close to her chest,
beckoning these trivial pieces fall, damn you.
and i fought.
beyond my better judgement.
i left my goddamn house, smoked a few, gave several peoples calls,
only to realize that they were not the problem.
i am the problem.
because i dont make you happy anymore.
i dont clean my room.
i dont brush my hair.
i dont do my homework.
without a sound,
i will slip away.
no more bracelets will be chained to my wrists.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
i had it
my mediocre mind encased it
for a few hours, i understood
it seemed manageable
but my body has changed
and now i see an unmountable problem,
but not enough to shake it off, tonight
sentences can’t hold it
fleeting, like liquid birds sliding off the page
flying into a dark that my eyes cannot make
for a few hours, pity was all mine
and i cradled it like my own child, unborn
now, the deafening connection has been made
and it traps my mind
it breaks my heart
and it is only me
and i am entirely confident that no one can understand
not even the one who speaks these haunting words, filled with broken bones and flowing blood
to an outlet that is my tears
when i can’t deal