but before i begin, i would just like to say i threw my hat and it definitely did a dive-bomb and nailed someone in the head. unfortunately, i do not remember who.
i suppose it began when my room felt too small, and my hat looked funny on my head. it was a night with too much closure thrown at me at one time, with too many goodbyes, but not a single tear to "mark" them. the ceremony meant nothing, really... except when i threw my hat and it landed exactly where i expected it to. not in a bitter way, just in a i would not have it any other way... way. i ended up driving that night, no car crash, thank god. too many close calls in my life lately for that kind of curve ball. now that pretty little dress smells like cigars and excitement, but i threw it on the floor.
and i realize that this has become a narrative of some sorts. which means i have no idea what i am talking about.
because beyond the size of this world and the farad, goodbye has been something that i cannot understand.
for some reason this seems very profound to me. except profound isn't the right word...more like 'real' and 'expressing what is the truth without having to say it.' idk. just--I liked this.
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