he knows me.

So I accomplished my goal. I'm so thankful for what I have... but most of all, my family. The theme for our week was "Living Inside Out"... and I realized that I have some issues with that. To be totally honest, I don't know who I am. I know what I believe, I know what I feel... but when it comes to putting words to my personality, I am at a loss. Because I can say one thing, and someone will say something contradictory. It's crazy. I wish I knew... but I don't know if I will. Back to being thankful for my family, it's because they know who I am, and love me despite everything. Everything. And they support me when others don't, an love me when others don't care. It's so AMAZING, and I'm so thankful to God. He has blessed me in so many ways... and I have only just begun to understand half of that.
This week, I have also learned that I am screwed up. I have some issues with things in my past. Some of these things are easy to talk about, like mean "friends" and self esteem issues, but some of them go so deep I can't even begin to explain them. And because of my broken inside, I know that I need more than a band aid. I need a God who loves me and understands me and knows me. He actually knows who I am, and what I'm going to say in a certain situation, and He knows which movies I'll cry in. He knows I need love when others can't provide, and He knows how I can serve him.
So here I am, waiting for the signs of when I can act next. Because now I'm ready, and now I'm aware of the love he has for me, and what others are missing when they don't know that love.