this again.

looking for an answer on tv

in dreams

in strangers

in comfort

in laughter

in absolute trust and expectation for those who get too close

i am sorry for who i am

that i am weak

that i care too much

i have begun to clench my jaw again, and the endlessly nervous feeling wrenching my heart around

if you don't leave me alone, i will act

and it will be so bad

and so so so so so so so good

and my words are those of 1st grader because my vocabulary has been expended on review sheets and comprehension

its easy as 1 2 3

a b c

give me my report card, and tell me what to see