may today, two thousand and never.

a kind of unexplicable exhaustion has taken over my mind and drags my eyelids shut like a rusty old anchor. i'm tired of so many things: adults, sex appeal, my future... unconnected musings that all end up in the same place. a thought of a simple necessity like eating, or sleep makes me sigh with yearning, and delight when i can finally reach it.
and yes.
i complain. because in my heart of hearts, it's the only way i can satisfy the discomfort of my life. there is a tear in my body due to a need for redemption and a fear of finally leaving. stepping into my new surroundings, and leaving old things behind. once work, and now play.

so goodbye, old cubes, ugly shoes, and the same old moves.

my social security number is signed away, and i am only a speck of dust drifting away in the evening wind.

sometimes i run out of things to say, as well.

i like dances.

sometimes i say i don't to make people happy.

and that, my friends,

is high school.

take a second... think about it.

thought of the day:

if all of us just took a second to try to understand why people do the things they do everywhere around us, the world would be a lot better of a place.

less tears.

fears.

beers?

haha.

no.

velcro, lightup, plastic with holes.

this drought of unshared thoughts and bird's-eye view moments must come to an end.
when i read your struggles and thoughts,
i can see your room with it's tear-stained carpet,
your memory flickering like a candle,
your anger burning past your boiling point,
and your suffering put into words that don't really fit.
why do we wander?
why words?
for now i suppose, i will assure you with mine,
though no one will ask how i wander myself.


we fade with times that no longer fit us,
life now is like a favorite old shoe.
we've walked in it for miles, sweat in it, breathed in it.

but now, it is too small, my friends.
too small to wear.
so we'll tie the laces one last time,
then put it in a box under our beds.

they will still be there tommorrow,
and the next day,
and the next.
the shapes of our feet still lie in the padding.
but there are more miles to walk, now.

leave the shoes.
walk barefoot.
it's summer,
afterall.

one of those days.

i managed to forget everything i needed today.
ha.
and i wasn't even that mad.

changes.

ch ch ch ch ch changes
turn and face the strange
ch ch changes



best blog post.

ever.

bitter wednesday.

things i hate:

1. skinny people

2. people that go on vacation

and worst of all:

3. skinny people that go on vacation.

spring break check list.

-dance like no one is watching
-sing as horribly as possible
-make that mad ca$h money
-tan when i CAN (rhyyymeeeee)
-run/walk everyday that i can
-learn the single ladies dance
-enjoy living life as a kid for as long as i can, and as much as i can

CHECK

maundy thursday.

once in a while i feel like i should see him in everything.
then i remember that the right side of my brain loves sounds that clash and are so right at the same time,
and that silence is the conqueror of all things unholy.
for i feel with my ears,
and in this way,
his soul.


embrace the darkness
for in it
is light