dual/duel.

half logic, half of something else. all i want is a two step plan, but biology forbids me from following and finding. i say what i love, and i hate it in moments. some things i say, and even more i do not follow. i am a failure at following in this way, but i succeed in at least recognizing. recognize... a word that means quite a bit to me. for the people that love can recognize, and realize. find and follow. recognize and realize. perhaps it is with an s. but don't ask me... in the elite i am merely at the bottom, but above the deepest waters. i am broken, and so was he. but we had a perfect moment... together we made something that neither will forget, unless memory so chooses to strip us of even our one perfect moment. we followed, we found. we recognized, and we realized. and all i want is a two step plan... but somehow life forbids it. but a perfect moment... that seems simple enough. to go on with my life, to discover what i cannot, and will not, but i should, but i can't, and so the endless volley between one half of my brain and the other battles. a blessing and a curse. half logic, and half of something else.

and this is not one thing in my life. it is the all. it is life pushing me around because i always forget that control is a word that i will never truly understand.