but you leave and i am good at whatever i need to be, or have to be
in dip shit land, the girls who love their faces continue without a second thought to a whole soul gone without them
today i remembered that i am not pretty enough to turn heads
nor kind enough to get over the dam that blocks all real, good thoughts
not recognizable
not even when lying
just a bright smiling face when i need to be
and exhausted when the pretenses fall away, like sheets of sleet off a window
im sorry i cant be enough for anyone right now
i am not fun, hard working, pleasant, or anything
just a case of a person
that melts like plastic at the close of another day
one day, i will make a necklace with beads that shine blue, iridescent of the night
like clothes of a queen
and people will see it and understand
i will be in that bead
and you will see into my soul
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