immortal.

stretched out so thin,

you can see the veins, blue

and the bones, white

the stress seeping through pores

as i laugh hormones into sweet submission

ein deutches requiem

salalala carry me to the countryside where

rain

falls

and cleanses the sleep out of eyes

honest to god

i will shut my amygdala off

because i dreamt of you last night, and i

hate it

i also hate that i take these

symbols personally:

8, 0, and %

weighted grades please,

compare it to my heavy heart

and acknowledge the fact that i am not smart enough for college

nor musically talented enough to sightread the dominant seventh scale

nor responsible enough to make it to class on time

nor beautiful enough to win attention

and finally, not immortal enough to be able to be just okay with all of the above

no

stretched out so thin,

you can see the veins, blue

and the bones, white

the stress seeping through pores

as i laugh hormones into sweet submission

sorry. i meant bitter

tip-toe life.

the tip-toe life... its a strange one. i listen to hair being crisped into curls as my one reason to curl them turns the other way. which doesn't mean a lot, i suppose. planning my future inside of little boxes, eraser in hand, because who knows? maybe i won't be good enough. no one can make me choose anything, and no one is concerned enough to truly influence my decision. so plodding on, i will push the glass door open as i am ever conscious of my fallen face, fully aware of the fact that i was born into this tip-toe life alone. "don't force it," but you don't know my voice. you don't know the reasons for my downturned eyes and callous care. after all, only in the muddled hours of the morning did i tell a story of drowning and innocence's death.

why must fate hang me out to dry like winter's laundry? my skin is beginning to sag and fade from the pressure of the skies and the ever-telling tornado.

the conductor, he sounds like tevya

the problem of evil.

i thought i had heard birds chirping through the lightning streaks of purple sky

but it was the furnace creaking as time and rust wore away at its pipes and gears

snow white.

frankly, i'd rather not

but yes please

i hold your eyes with a dusty key in the shape of a dented heart

i've asked what i need

and you're the opposite of burns and forgotten fingers

yet still everything i should not

tainted mind in a church?

hell, here i come

but before i go,

at least i'll know that i have made my mark

red, mellow, raw, and lingering

my little eyes cannot hold much,

but your ever-fleeting attention

at least for a second

silent, drawing

when i wake up in the morning,

i pray that my heart will remain in my chest

and my lungs in a place where nothing stops their heaving

never have i wished upon a shooting star

mostly because i miss them

but because i don't believe in asking

so fate, my fickle, foolhardy friend

let you cruel trick end quickly

so i may rest back into the blue

and let this verse end softly

so as not to awake my silent reason

resting, waiting, watching

if i could.

if i could solve the world's problems

if i could hush away harsh language from my brother's ears

if i could chase away stupid boys from my sister's presence

if i could spin hurricanes away from my parents' island paradise

if i could

if i could solve everything for you

if i could solve everything for me

if i could make you see the not-s0-distant future

if i could show you today isn't everything

if i could show you that you have so much to live for, breathe in, and inspire

if i could show how the world is waiting on the opposite side of your window frame

if i could pretend that all of your problems didn't make me want to solve every single one of them

if i could

if i could make you love me

if i could fix your brain

if i could fix myself

if i could be worth your time

if i could be enough

somehow, i never am for everybody that i touch