all i want to do.

this is what i want to do.
i want to bottle my anger into glass, and seal it with a cork.
then, i want to throw it into lake michigan. more preferably the ocean. because then i wouldn't have to see it again.
i wish i wasn't angry.
i wish i didn't care.
i wish i could be okay with people using me
abusing me
betraying me.
but i'm not.
so that is what i want to do.
but as i hold the bottle in my left hand,
i realize that i cannot.
so i take out the anger and clothe myself with it.
letting it cover who i really am.
because i cannot let go of my hurt and frustration.
i would rather dwell with it, until in my head, it becomes justice.
which it won't.
so here i am. and as i hold this glass and gaze into the memory, i put it into my nightstand drawer.
because that's where i keep things.