brain.

controlled by electrodes

can't fix me

all my life has been Mind over matter

now, we are matter over Mind

Mind cannot stop three letters

nor ave maria echoing in the cavern of my skull

basket of a fistful of problems

mistakes waiting to happen,

problems surfacing to arrival

bumps on a temple

hair covering something so ugly

so despairing

and so wonderful

i hate you

i love you

mind over matter

please

not my plans. obviously.

deep down, i knew this would happen.

not liking my psych class.

wanting to sing, all the time.

not knowing if i'm good enough.

knowing i don't like psychology.

never believing in myself enough.

hating music theory.

but loving to sing, performance.

God, no.

i will never know if i am good enough.

ridiculous hilarious flirty underwater tea party.

so darling

you came back

now that my chest is larger

and my countenance more appealing

later you see

sure, darling, sure

supposedly we never hated

... more annoyed

so we all gather together

at a ridiculous underwater tea party

it felt as if my skirts were floating above me in

high water

da da da da ba da da da la la

so eyes look up past eyelashes as my teeth smile in spite of themselves

irony at its best

with a touch of lust and flirtation

why don't we all go out sometime?

scones? crepes?

i will most likely choke from laughter

separating my life was futile, i suppose

dugout, anyone? you bring the scones, i'll bring the skirt.

half n half.

we commend each other, chock-full of experience

half n half.

kind of like my shitty cup of coffee

true downfalls, painful things that will

haunt

for the rest of my life

but something that rings

i can see it in the rafters of this empty place

full of home

bubble burst

lungs filled with skittles

the dingy surroundings confuse my sense of right

but not my sense of wrong

future on line one.

as we sit around at wall facing tables

perfection teases me at its highest of heights

where dream meets neighbor

never knocks at my door

all things arranged

sticky notes on that table

i am left wondering how to spell

future is bright, fluorescent and yellow

damn your streets cars and internet cables

nothing but socks left on the floor

as sweet, coy ambition walks out my door

tell me you love it

tell me; or i'll

cry

your turquoise transportation to a cotton-filled sky

chemicals confuse me

ratios wrong me

a ring

an alarm

not a call from

a toy

so chevalier

dashing

darling

pocketable

satchel filled with handfuls of mistakes

for that is all my fists can take

come on, fat love.

come on handled love

crooked nose and toad smile

funny voice and short mile

things i see, part of life

unchanged in self

seen in a new way

we will not be forgotten

only shoved to the past by my newfound ambition

opportunity, my dear friend

give me everything

or put it in front of me

and i will snatch it as if i am coordinated

try me

we, the cool kids.

am i blind to the people who don't have a face?

dominican in the zip up against a brick wall

pirate with glasses

queen of hong kong

boy with cheyennes

me with the sightless eyes

up and up.

my head hurts

so i wont read anymore

but go to bed

goodnight

dugout.

tonight we are here

surrounded by bar code geniuses and asian rastafarians

straight from my life

for i am glad i got off the couch

and took experience off the wall

saw a little

now i smell a little

but sweat and smoke are rich with color

natural life taking place

for i know better than to get as many numbers as i can and forget about the true meaning of friendship

so keep me open

keep me crazy

keep me loving

and worshipping in my own way.

with all my love.

we are forever ago never occurring but in a distant dream full of old colors and twisted mental schemes