high school.

have you ever noticed that something that is only supposed to be between two people involves everyone?

yes... i cried.

it's just that it was goodbye to something so much more...

this is the last time, i will say these words. i remember the first time..

this is the last time.
it's only my second... but it will still be sad anyways.
i invest too much of my life into this it's hard to just brush it off once it's done.
so let this be the last, the best, the most memorable, and the most fun--all while getting it done.

ode to panic.

i wanted a new perspective on life, so i sat down in my shower.
my hair took much too long to dry, for it was thick with water.
but i enjoyed the simplicity of silently sitting as water warmed my skin.
el fin.

dual/duel.

half logic, half of something else. all i want is a two step plan, but biology forbids me from following and finding. i say what i love, and i hate it in moments. some things i say, and even more i do not follow. i am a failure at following in this way, but i succeed in at least recognizing. recognize... a word that means quite a bit to me. for the people that love can recognize, and realize. find and follow. recognize and realize. perhaps it is with an s. but don't ask me... in the elite i am merely at the bottom, but above the deepest waters. i am broken, and so was he. but we had a perfect moment... together we made something that neither will forget, unless memory so chooses to strip us of even our one perfect moment. we followed, we found. we recognized, and we realized. and all i want is a two step plan... but somehow life forbids it. but a perfect moment... that seems simple enough. to go on with my life, to discover what i cannot, and will not, but i should, but i can't, and so the endless volley between one half of my brain and the other battles. a blessing and a curse. half logic, and half of something else.

and this is not one thing in my life. it is the all. it is life pushing me around because i always forget that control is a word that i will never truly understand.

get it done.

i just do stuff occasionally, and i don't know why, and i don't have an explanation, and i don't always know what to say, and i wish i were better, and i wish i could keep everyone happy, but i can't, so i just put on my stuff, figure my own stuff out, keep a level head, never miss a cue, never miss a homework assignment, and never miss an opportunity to piss someone off without meaning it. and i live my life okay.



and yet there's always someone that's not happy.
and it makes me mad.

black and white and gray and stuff.

Sometimes I find it hard to find the fine line that rests between "wrong" and "right". Want to know a secret? Sometimes, i don't even think it exists.